Steve had hoped to avoid the separation pursued by his wife after twenty eight years of marriage that had produced four children and a sizeable business empire. Steve had considered a traditional litigated route but adopted a collaborative approach involving a trusted joint accountant to help him and his wife to assess the different options.
What I wish I had known:
Probably very little. What I have had confirmed to me since my divorce is that my initial view of the more you spend and the longer the process takes the harder it is to rebuild a civil and decent relationship with your former spouse. Guided by my lawyer and going with my own gut instincts meant that we achieved a fair and reasonable settlement that kept all parties (myself, my former wife and my children) able to continue having a warm relationship and that is worth far more than any amount of money.
The low point:
However you dress it up divorce is not a pleasant process. There were times I got more stressed by the process than was good for me, but my lawyer managed to keep me calm and the agreement was signed, albeit slightly later then I was hoping for.
The certainty that I did the right thing:
Unfortunately, my marriage had come to an end and I realised then (and realise now) there was no alternative other than to divorce, as amicably, as possible.
What I would do differently:
In terms of how I handled my divorce I don’t think there is anything I would do differently. I would advise any couples thinking of getting divorced to seek out really good “couples” counselling as however civilised you can make the divorce it really is best avoided if at all possible.