Michael and his wife were both retired at the time of their divorce. They had been married for over thirty years and had three adult children. 

What I wish I had known:

That you should be prepared for behaviour that you would not expect your ex-partner to be capable of. Their lawyer will write to say that your ex-partner wants an amicable settlement – do not believe this as cheating and lying in order to get as much as possible are far more likely.

The low point:

The realisation that the process is incredibly (unnecessarily) long and that there is hardly anything that you can do to make things happen in a sensible timescale.

The certainty that I did the right thing:

The process reveals things about your ex-partner that will make you realise that you will be happier without him/her.

What I would do differently now:

The lawyers will tell you that it is expensive to go to Court and that it takes a long time. Ignore this advice and start the Court process immediately as it will establish a timescale and is more likely to enable an out-of court settlement faster. Faster means lower lawyer’s fees and the ability to get on with your life earlier.